Ep. 319: MOJ: Celebrating 6 Years of The Offbeat Life
Celebrate 6 Years of The Offbeat Life!
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Transcription:
Debbie:
Hey everyone. Welcome to another episode of My Offbeat Journey, where I share with you the ups and downs of remote work. And today is a really special episode because not only do I have Aaron here.
Aaron:
Hello.
Debbie:
But it’s also our sixth year anniversary of the podcast.
Aaron:
Yay.
Debbie:
You sound really excited about this.
Aaron:
I’m here, ain’t I?
Debbie:
Whatever. Anyways, so it is officially six years since I started the podcast. Can you believe that? It’s been six years already.
Aaron:
No.
Debbie:
So what are we gonna be talking about today?
Aaron:
Because it’s six year anniversary it’s kind of like, almost like a time to, whenever a year comes to a close on something, even though it’s not the end of this year, it’s the end of an anniversary year, you want to come to a close and look back on things that went well, things that didn’t go so well, and things that you learned.
Debbie:
All right. So let’s look back six years ago, 2017 when I started this on September 4th, where we were at that time, like what was our situation? Do you even remember what our situation was like back then?
Aaron:
No.
Debbie:
Great.
Aaron:
Go ahead. Recap us.
Debbie:
So at that time, we were both still working as ABA therapists, and we were, I think we were living in our old apartment in Queens. And I wasn’t in a very good space back then. I think I was having a panic attack every four months because I really wanted to do something else with my life, but I didn’t know, I didn’t have direction, but I did know that I wanted to have more independence in terms of like my location. And I wanted to, I really didn’t know what digital Nomadism was or even I knew what remote work was and I wanted to do it, but I didn’t think it was possible. And that’s really how the podcast started because I started to talk to people during when we traveled and they had that lifestyle. And I was like, well, maybe I should interview these people so that I can get an idea. And that’s really how the podcast started. Right?
Aaron:
Yeah. I mean, you wanted to be able to be location independent, just like the website and podcasts say.
Debbie:
Yeah, exactly. And that’s what we’re doing now. I mean, there’s a lot of things, it’s kind of crazy because there’s so many things that happened because of the podcast. Like obviously I was able to leave my nine to five and now I work full-time remote as a writer, and now we’re able to go back and forth down south and then back up in New York. You know, we’re kind of like snowbirds in that sense. So there’s so many things that change because I made that decision to start this and get ideas from people that I met and also learn the skills that I needed to do to start working remotely.
Aaron:
Yeah, I mean, you, you did a lot of research. You listened to a lot of podcasts and stuff, some of which I introduced to you to. Yeah. And even the idea of podcasts was Yeah. Was probably mine.
Debbie:
It was. No, it actually was because at that time I really wasn’t listening to any podcasts and you told me to listen to podcasts, and then you said, why don’t you start one and interview people doing what you wanna do and maybe you can get some ideas. So yeah, it is your idea, the podcast. Yeah.
Aaron:
It’s, you know what else? It was my idea for you to be writing.
Debbie:
Yeah, that was. So Aaron had all the good ideas and then they, they all just came.
Aaron:
They only work for other people, not for me, unfortunately. Oh, some of them work for me. I guess that’s not, I gotta toot my own horn a little bit. I can’t leave it like that.
Debbie:
Yeah, because it’s funny because before I started working as a writer full-time and he would always say like, Hey, you should become a writer. This comes really naturally to you. And I always fought it. And then it just happened naturally because from the podcast, I started to start a website and started writing from there. And then that’s how I became a writer. And then I got, you know, into this full time. So it’s kind of weird, but what about you? What has changed in the last six years since I started the podcast? Because there’s also a lot of changes with you because of it too, in a way. Well,
Aaron:
I was doing remote work for a little while and I’m heading into a field where most likely I will also be doing remote work for a while. Yeah, I’m just, I’m also not like one of these people that I’m not an employee type and it doesn’t mean that I’m not gonna work for people. It just means I, I’m like, I just do my job. I wanna be left alone. That’s pretty much the type of employee I am which can be good for some roles, but for others maybe not so much.
Debbie:
Yeah. I think that’s how we both are. We just wanna be doing the job, be left alone and live our life. We’re not really into like office drama or anything like that.
Aaron:
Yeah. I don’t want I’ve just, I like to be by myself, let’s say. So, and it’s not anything against people when I want to go hang out, you know, I go hang out, but most of the time I just want to be to my own thoughts, work on things and just you know, be productive and also goof around a little bit.
Debbie:
Yeah, exactly. That’s how I am too. I just like to do my work, get it done, and then do what we wanna do. Yeah. You know, and, and it’s, it’s kind of interesting how the last six years has panned out. I mean, I never thought, I mean, I wouldn’t say I never thought we would be able to do this, but there’s just so much that I did and you did. And there’s so much work that goes into this that it’s kind of crazy how everything that I said that I wanted, you know, obviously it’s not perfect, but the main thing that I wanted was just to be able to have more of freedom with our time and the location that we have. But at the end of the day, it’s, you know, you still do the same, but now it’s just <laugh> in your own time, in the comfort of your own home. So it’s kind of interesting how everything changed, but then not really.
Aaron:
I agree. I don’t have a lot to say about that. I guess <laugh> yeah, I mean, I don’t think too much has changed in, in some ways. In other ways. Yes. Like I definitely don’t like commuting. I don’t think, I don’t, I don’t know how much, Hmm. If I had a number that they had to give me, I mean, it sounds crazy and there’s probably no way I could ever make this much money, at least with doing the stuff I’m doing now or what I’m gonna be doing in the near future. I don’t know. I would say like half a million dollars a year to get me out of the house and commute <laugh>. I don’t, I don’t <laugh>. I’d be fine with couple, like 150 to 200,000 and that’s plenty of money for me to just stay at home <laugh>. ’cause It would take a lot of money to get me to commute.
Debbie:
Like they would be bribing you to get out of the, like, the house to commute again. Yeah. It would
Aaron:
Take a lot. Well
Debbie:
Also, just to give you a backstory, we used to be ABA therapists and we would go into people’s home and we would literally commute not to an office, but to people’s homes. So it’s not like we’re just going into an office and then coming back home at the end of the day, we would literally go to different residences. So it would be like four to five different houses we would go to. And they would be a lot of times not near each other. So the amount of travel time that we used to do was, it was pretty crazy. It was insane.
Aaron:
Yeah. Probably, probably two hours a day minimum.
Debbie:
Yeah.
Aaron:
In between all the traveling,
Debbie:
Well, that’s just in between. And then it would be another probably around three to four hours a day.
Aaron:
Maybe, maybe not. It depends. It depends where it was. ’cause I remember some places, like, it would take me like 45 minutes to get to the first place and then maybe like 10 minutes, 15 minutes. It depends though. ’cause Like there were times where there was one case, like I remember when I had like four of them, and I remember there was this one case, like the last one I had, it took me like an hour to get there and it would take me another hour to get home. So that was two hours right there.
Debbie:
Well, I think most of that is traffic. Yeah. Because we also live in New York City, so it was just a lot of traffic going back and forth. And that was the biggest headache.
Aaron:
Not fun.
Debbie:
Yeah, it wasn’t, it wasn’t fun at all. And that’s why we, I have fun with the kids.
Aaron:
It got boring sometimes because, you know, like you run outta things petition sometimes and they, sometimes they only like certain toys even though you try to mix it up. But that’s another story.
Debbie:
Yeah. Not, well, not a story we’re gonna talk about.
Aaron:
I did love the kids and I think I did a good job with them. We had fun with them. Yeah,
Debbie:
It was, it was a good job. But I think the biggest thing that made me leave is the, it’s just the things that I couldn’t do something about. And that’s what really broke my heart. And yeah, I mean now I feel pretty good. Like it, you know, it’s, life is never perfect and we have gone through a lot the last few years. We’re still going through it now. That’s honestly why I’ve been so silent on, on social media because we’re just going through a lot of different changes right now. And a lot of things personally. But without this podcast, I don’t even know where we would be. And if we would still be therapist or, you know, we would be doing something else completely different or maybe would’ve taken us in the same direction, who knows? But it’s just so interesting what could happen if you choose something outside of the norm for yourself. And I think we talk to a lot of our friends and even family, and maybe you’re feeling the same way too, where you’re just really discouraged, especially now in this time where it’s very confusing. There’s a lot of things that’s happening in the world. There’s not a lot of stability in some sense.
Aaron:
Yeah, with the economy and job market stuff.
Debbie:
Economy and job market, but also just like frustration because maybe you don’t feel like you know where you should be in your life. And we’ve definitely felt that too. And, you know, Aaron and I to, to give you another part of our story is that I was, and he was a therapist until we were like in our thirties, you know, like we got our master’s degree. We worked on that. And before that he was a martial artist and I was a like a school teacher and we changed our career so many times. Yeah. Yep. Changing one right now. Yeah. And Aaron’s changing one right now. And I changed my career you know, not just with the podcasting, but also with writing. And now I’m a full-time writer for a company. And Aaron is in the middle of changing his career right now.
So if you feel like, oh my gosh, like, I don’t know what to do with my life, don’t feel like you’re alone. Even our friends who are in their thirties and forties still feel like that. And there’s no shame in changing your career, even if you put a lot of effort into it and you know that it’s not something that you’re gonna be happy with. Because that’s one thing that we found out we’ve started so many businesses, is that it’s not just about the money. It’s how you are going to, in order for you to have longevity in anything, you also have to enjoy what you’re doing. And that’s why I think for me personally, I have such peace with what I’m doing right now is because I do enjoy it, but it’s also a job that I don’t feel like I’m so, so passionate about it, that it takes up everything.
And I used to have jobs like that and, you know, my, my podcast and my website was like that. But when things happen in your life you know, your priorities start to change. And for me right now, it’s like my family is really important. Aaron is really important. My friends are really important. And I think that there’s gonna be things in your life. There’s seasons in your life where, you know, your friends are gonna be really important, you know, and then your job is gonna be really important. But at the end of the day, it’s the people around you, the people that really are there for you, and the people that love you, that’s gonna be the main thing in your life. And yeah. And don’t feel like it’s too late for anything because we both changed our careers. I changed my careers in my twenties, in my thirties.
And Aaron, like, he changed his career. He was a martial artist for over 10 years. And then you were a therapist for almost another 10 years, and now you’re changing it again to something different. So it’s never too late to do something different, to do what makes you feel good, feels right, and also creates income for, for yourself. But that doesn’t take so much out of your entire life. Because I, I feel like for me too, I, I was sucked into that whole like, boss mentality where you had to go, go, go and always be successful and you have to always grind. But now I feel so much at peace, like with myself
Aaron:
‘Cause I was right about that too.
Debbie: Yeah. It’s like the
Aaron:
80 20 rule. I would say 20%. Do whatever you want. 80% you should be doing the stuff for me and our family.
Debbie:
Yeah. Silence with that but yeah.
Aaron:
You like it though.
Debbie:
So yeah, I think it’s just, there’s definitely seasons in your life where you have to kind of see and gauge where, where you’re at, where your head is at, where your heart is at. And you don’t need to listen to other people. And if you need time for yourself, you should do that. If you’re in a phase in your life where you do wanna grow and work as much as you can, then definitely do that as well. ’cause I think right now that’s the phase you’re in, for sure.
Aaron:
Yeah. I mean, I, I don’t know, like, I think you’re kind of like this, and that’s probably why we both like to beach around each other so much is because we’re always growing and it’s not something that, like, I feel like we’re competitive with each other. We both just kind of like doing stuff, like just doing a lot of stuff all the time, you know what I mean? Like, like I’m always trying to learn things. I’m curious about stuff. I’m learning what’s going on, you know, in the world. Sometimes even at minimum, even if I’m doing nothing, I’m like learning about what’s going on in the world. I try to like learn new things you know, just grow as a person. And I think a lot of people, they get stagnant, but if you’re some one of these people that kind of does that just you know, don’t think it’s like a weird thing or like you’re alienating yourself. Like not everybody’s like that for sure. Some people just want a paycheck. I mean, I want a paycheck too, but I, I’m not content with just like a regular nine to five life. We, we went over this already. Yeah.
Debbie:
And also there’s nothing wrong with having a paycheck either. There’s certain people that are more entrepreneur, like they’re more entrepreneurs and some people that are more worker bees. And sometimes you’re that at one point in your life and sometimes you’re the other. And right now for me, I’m definitely just, I don’t wanna be boss of anything. I just wanna rest. I just wanna do the work that I need to do and then that’s it. And I need time to rest to just my energy is somewhere else and not just work. And for a really, really long time I was a total opposite. And when I first started feeling this, like I need to just rest I felt really guilty because for a very long time I was not that type of person. And I don’t think I have ever been, and I never rested and I just never took the time to be like, okay, you don’t always have to do the most of everything.
Debbie:
You can rest and relax. And there was a lot of guilt that came with that for a really long time for me. But now I’ve come to terms with it, I’m pretty happy with it. And I’m pretty sure this is not forever, but for right now, this is definitely what I need. And that’s another thing I wanted to discuss with you all is that there may be times where there’s not gonna be episodes coming from me because of that. And this is just a time in my life where I really need time for just resting. And later on we’ll talk to you more about it because there’s a reason for this and there’s just a lot of things that’s happening. Yeah. In our personal life right now. That’s just a lot going on that I haven’t discussed with you.
And I think too, for a while, because this is like a few years that’s happened I just didn’t feel like talking about it. And now I’m, I still don’t feel comfortable talking about it, but I do feel like later on I, I will because I feel like it’s, it’s a topic that, you know, I no one in my family talked about because I think it’s just not something that they’ve experienced. But I do have friends that are going through the same thing. So maybe you know, I can share my story with you later, but right now it’s, it’s not a comfortable like, place for me to do that. But yeah. And I think that’s really the biggest reason why for me, I just need like, the time to rest and like calm in my life right now instead of trying to do the most, trying to work like 10, 12 hour days, like I am so used to doing. And now I’m like, I just need to get work done. And that’s it.
Aaron:
Instead of doing extra.
Debbie:
Yeah. ’cause I always like to do extra. Yeah. So <laugh>,
Aaron:
It turned out to be pretty good this episode. ’cause I, we were rambling a lot. I think <laugh>, but it actually did kind of tie together as like, it’s reviewing a journey. It, it kind of cataloged a lot of things where you were at certain times and what happened, what led us to different things. And that’s important because, you know, we have an interesting journey in, in that sense.
Debbie:
Yeah. And I think that that’s another thing I wanna also share is that when we started, I definitely was not in a good space. And now I feel like we’re in a lot better space, but it’s not perfect. And we’ve gone through a lot of stuff like the last few years and we’ll, we’re actually still in the middle of it right now and it hasn’t been the easiest. But I do have to say that even though the last few years hasn’t been the easiest, I would not trade it for anything else. ’cause I would not wanna be where I was back in 2017, even though I do feel like what we’re going through right now is like a thousand times harder than what we were going through six years ago. Personally, professionally, like it’s, it’s way harder <laugh> than six years ago. But I feel like we’re going into the right direction and for me, that’s worth all the pain and suffering that we’re going through right now.
Aaron:
Yeah. It’s worth it. And also it’s like, what else are you gonna do in life? Yeah. Even if you hit the lotto, even if you, like, we, we talked about this before and many things and other people I’m sure have talked about it before, hit the lotto or you inherited a bunch of money or something, you have to do something with yourself. That’s, no, it sounds crazy because a lot of people are like, oh yeah, I just eat waffles all day and sleep till, you know, noon. It’s like, I’ve had times in my life where I wasn’t doing too much. Not for really long time, like years, but even a few weeks you just get bored and also you feel like you’re not doing anything. So you gotta, you gotta do something. You can’t just, you know, even if you were a trust fund baby or you hit the lotto or somehow just hit it rich and you’re retired and you have to do something, it doesn’t mean you have to work, but you have to do something with yourself. You can’t just watch TV all day, eat good food and sleep, although that sounds, that sounds pretty nice actually. Nevermind eat good food. Nevermind sleep. But you can’t. But the point stands, you can’t do that for too long. Well,
Debbie:
You need to have a purpose, right? Yeah. You gotta have a purpose. It’s like people, when they retire, the people that last longer, they have more longevity with their life are the ones that have another purpose or they have a community around them. And the people that don’t last the longest or become bitter and angry lonely are the ones that don’t have a community around them and they don’t have another purpose in their life. And I think that’s, that’s the thing is just to find that purpose that you have. And sometimes that can change with how you change as a human being, as an individual. And don’t ever feel bad that, hey, I’m looking at what I’m doing right now and it doesn’t feel right anymore. And I may have to pivot because we’ve pivoted so many times and I pivoted in my twenties, my thirties.
Aaron has done that in his twenties, thirties, and now in your, in your forties you’re pivoting. So there’s a lot of different things that can happen and don’t feel like you only have one track to go to. But if you’re going to pivot, stick to that pivot. You know, it’s also another thing to just like have what do they call it? Shiny object syndrome. Shiny object syndrome. Yeah. So I mean, if, if you try to figure that out early on, it’ll help in the long run, but sometimes you just have to pivot in life. But yeah. So thank you everyone for joining us for this episode. I can’t believe it’s been six years already since we started this podcast. For those of you who have been listening for that long, thank you for sticking around and for listening to my journey, to our journey to the guests that I’ve had on the show. If you have had any experiences because of this podcast, please feel free to send me a message at hello@theoffbeatlife.com. I would love to hear from you. Thank you for the last six years. I’m so appreciative of all of you, of all the people who have listened and hopefully it has given you as much as that it has given me as well. Thank you again. Thanks for joining me on this episode, Aaron.
Aaron:
No problem. Thank you.
Debbie:
Bye everyone. See you next episode!
