Ep. 141 How this digital content creator travels the world raising awareness on colorism and self love with Ayn Bernos
In this week’s episode, I speak with Ayn Bernos who is a Filipina digital content creator, writer, and entrepreneur.
In her Youtube channel, Sun-kissed Somewhere, she vlogs about travel, lifestyle, and confidence, and uses her platform to raise awareness on colorism.
Inspired by this advocacy, she has also launched Morena the Label, a Manila-based clothing line that sells statement tees celebrating sun-kissed skin and body positivity.
Camp Confidence, her latest passion project, is a community-based podcast about self-love, success, and adulthood.
Listen on to find out how she is able to travel the world as a digital content creator.
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Transcription :
Debbie:
Hey everyone, thank you so much for joining us. I’m so excited to be here win Ayn. Is that how you say your name by the way?
Ayn:
Yeah, it’s a complicated name, isn’t it? It’s Ayn. Some people have said “Anne” some people “Aileen”, “Irene” – it’s all.
Debbie:
‘Cause I’m also Filipino, “Ayn” is Filipino and I’m like “I’ve never heard this,” ’cause we give each other nicknames, right. I’ve never heard of this name before.
Ayn:
It’s made up. Really
Debbie:
That’s what Filipinos do – we make up all of our names.
Ayn:
Oh my gosh. All of the Merlins and Jemerlins.
Debbie:
So I’m really excited to have you here because you have such an interesting background. And can you tell us a little bit more about you and why you live an offbeat life?
Ayn:
Well first, thank you for having me. I’m Ayn Bernos, I am a YouTube content creator, a podcaster, and an entrepreneur, I think. I have an eCommerce business called Morena the label. So I do all of that right now here in Manila. I recently moved back from a year in Spain and I’ve been wanting to transition to full-time travel blogging.
And I guess the reason that my life is an offbeat life is because I just don’t really want to go the usual path of an Asian girl with Asian expectations from Asian parents. Typically, we’re expected to do the lawyer thing or the engineer thing, but I’m just not any of that. So, I’m trying to maximize what we have on the internet so that I can keep doing what I want to do creatively but also be free geographically.
Debbie:
I definitely understand that part. I know most Filipinos are definitely nurses and lo and behold when I was going into school, my parents were like, “You’re going to be a nurse,” and obviously it didn’t turn out that way.
Ayn:
Oh my gosh. Really? But they’re happy now. I’m sure.
Debbie:
Well, I think at this point they realized, they’re like, “Well, we have no say in it. Now we just have to accept it.”
Ayn:
Good. Well, I mean you live a pretty awesome life, so that’s all that matters, right?
Debbie:
Yeah. You know how parents are, especially Filipino parents, it’s never enough for the most part.
Ayn:
Never enough…
Debbie:
When you were starting out, did you know that you to be location independent to travel and then to become an entrepreneur? What did you start out as?
Ayn:
My first job out of college, I worked at a digital marketing agency as a copywriter. I did social media, et cetera. And I guess during that time I just wanted to survive, I guess, in the city. But then once I started having little vacations here and there and having money to spend, I realized that I wasn’t really happy with an office job or a nine-to-five. And so, I wanted to figure out a way to be location independent cause other people have done it. So I keep telling myself, “Why not me?” So, that’s how it started.
Debbie:
Well, that’s really good. I feel like there are so many things that happen in our life where we finally just kind of realize that this is not what we want to do, or we see someone doing it like, “Well, if they can do it, I can do it.”
Ayn:
Yeah.
Debbie:
I think it’s taking those moments of inspiration and really taking it to heart and doing something positive with it. That’s really great.
Ayn:
Yeah. Truly, especially now with the internet, I feel like everything is possible because I can see other people making it happen for themselves. But at the same time, I have the same tools that they have – WiFi. That’s an empowering thought.
Debbie:
That’s so true. The best thing, honestly, is to have that internet because now you can literally do so many different things that you weren’t able to do before like being a digital nomad. And you also left the Philippines to teach English abroad. How did that happen for you? Why did you decide to do that?
Ayn:
That was so random. So, I’ve been wanting to become a YouTuber full-time, but it was just not realistic. I’m not one of those overnight viral internet sensations. I really had to grow my channel from nothing and I guess I needed a job that would allow me to create more content while at the same time affording me a travel lifestyle.
And when I came across this job in Spain, which was a language assistant job, I thought it was perfect because the job required me to work 16 hours a week and I would be getting enough money to survive in Madrid which is a pretty cool city. I only worked four days a week so, I had a three-day weekend every week. And then we had Christmas break and Holy Week break because it was in Spain.
So, for me as a content creator, that was exactly what I wanted because I would still get paid enough money to live in a gorgeous city. But at the same time, I had more time and energy to invest in my own thing, my own channel. When I was working at a digital marketing agency, it was just impossible for me to keep creating because my job itself was creative so, I was just exhausted by the time I got home. I couldn’t get myself to film or edit anymore so, I thought I needed a job that would be able to sustain me but at the same time allow me to have a side hustle which was YouTube at the time.
Debbie:
Why did you just start to decide to actually choose YouTube as your side hustle and now it’s become a huge part of your brand, right? A lot of what we see online now is that it’s too late to go on YouTube, it’s so hard to get in there. How did you get into this platform and actually grow your brand from it?
Ayn:
I honestly feel that there is an audience for everyone. Anyone who wants to be a YouTuber, there’s someone out there for you, like somebody will watch your videos. It’s just a matter of being discovered by the right people. And this is where my digital marketing background comes in because I was really focused on the whole SEO and keyword part of YouTubing and I guess that helped me grow my channel. I was very intentional about that. Even though I wasn’t a beauty guru or I wasn’t a fashionista that had so much to offer, I at least knew what my strengths were. And I guess I use that for people to discover me.
So even though my beauty tutorials weren’t that good, at least the people who did discover me ended up liking, I don’t know, maybe my personality or my style enough that they stuck around. So, that was good, I think. So now I like doing it because I have this whole community of like-minded people who want the same things, but also I can be myself. I’ll create whatever I want and people do enjoy it. The audience that I have now is not that big of a community, I don’t have millions of subscribers but it’s enough to make me realize that this is going somewhere.
Debbie:
Well, the niche that you have is pretty great because it’s obviously not for everybody but there are enough people who will be able to listen and watch you when you’re going through your journey. When you left the Philippines, you went to Spain, you have all of these different stories that you’re sharing with everybody, which is really great.
And also make sure you check out the extended interview with Ayn because she’s going to share with us how to find your unique niche on YouTube. So I’m really excited to talk to you about that later on. Now, Ayn, when you were actually preparing the journey to leave the Philippines and started a whole new life in Spain. How did you prepare for that journey in order to make this huge change in your life?
Ayn:
Well, number one, of course, is savings because financially, it was a huge move. The salary was great but it wasn’t enough to be able to travel. That’s actually when I started Morena the Label right before I left for Spain because I kind of needed something to add to my savings. So I sold t-shirts but then I didn’t realize that it would actually grow to what it is now. So that is like my other 50% of what I do.
So, financially I really had to prepare for that because I needed to set things up in a way that I would be actually able to do YouTube ’cause a lot of language assistants in Spain do a lot of part-time English teaching work. And I know that I can’t really do that ’cause I had a goal in mind and my end goal was to become a full-time YouTuber and I hope that in a year I would be able to do it. So mostly it was financial, the Spanish speaking, Spanish learning stuff I tried to do when I was there but I got back and everything and I still suck at it. So yeah, it was mostly that.
Debbie:
So, you’re talking about financials. How much money did you actually save before setting off to be going to a different country and how were you able to budget that money to actually last?
Ayn:
I guess enough to last me two to three months, I would be getting my salary after the first month, but it wasn’t a sure thing. In Spain, bureaucracy is just as bad as the Philippines, I guess, so I was kind of used to it after having lived my entire life here in the Philippines, so it’s not a shocking thing to me: incompetence and delayed pace and stuff. So, I guess it was just a matter of being thrifty and knowing my priorities, getting an apartment as soon as I got there was one of the biggest struggles because it just was not easy, especially since I didn’t know any Spanish.
So we got lucky after like two weeks of searching, we finally found an apartment settled in, just started a job and hope that we got paid on time. Luckily, the savings were enough and it got us through the first two months of having no pay. Oh, when I say we, I mean me and my former roommate back in Spain ’cause she’s my friend from Manila and we both moved there at the same time. So it was kind of cool to share the experience with someone and I wasn’t alone entirely during that whole move.
Debbie:
That’s so good because it can be such a culture shock when you’re in a different country, especially if you’re by yourself. It’s such a huge change already. And to do it all solo can be really, really overwhelming. What was that like for you when you finally step foot in Spain? We all have that “what now?” moment after we leave something or we’re starting something completely different with our life. What was your “what now?” moment like?
Ayn:
Hmm… When was that? I guess that was when we moved to our actual apartment, it was like a month later. The contract was nine months so, our first month passed and we were like, “Oh my gosh, this is it. We live here. We’re not tourists, we’re not traveling together. We moved here together.” It was crazy because I’ve known one thing my entire life; Manila, Filipino food, Tagalog.
So, for me to not even have English to use to charm my way into our out of situations, it was hard ’cause I was really dependent on language. At least here I can negotiate and do stuff like that. But when I was in Spain, especially the first time I moved there, it was like back to zero – I knew nothing. Yeah, it was hard.
Debbie:
That’s the beauty of it, right? And also the real struggle of it all. It’s like you don’t know anything but then it’s also really exciting. It’s super nerve-wracking, you don’t know what’s happening.
Ayn:
But I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s truly an amazing experience. Yeah, I do it again.
Debbie:
Yeah, for sure. And now you have so much from it. You created many amazing videos when you were there and I’m sure you have a lot of different lessons that you’ve learned from it as well. Now throughout this whole journey, Ayn, what was the biggest setback that you actually encountered and how did you handle it?
Ayn:
The biggest setback would probably be dealing with winter because I’m a tropical girl. I’ve never had to wear layers in my life and it really does affect you I guess mentally or emotionally. The cold, I really underestimated it. During the winter, that was the first time I ever had to feel a little bit depressed while I was there ’cause I got sick with the flu and I was just homesick and lonely. It was Christmas, it was cold, I needed the blanket to get to the bathroom. That was a struggle for me but I guess it really helped that I’ve made friends there because I wasn’t alone.
Ayn:
There was this whole group of experts who felt exactly how I felt and I did have my Filipino friends but I also found my little community of ex-pats, of entrepreneurs. So, outside of my English teacher circle, there was another circle of entrepreneurs that I really, really appreciated because they’ve really taught me, though indirectly, how it is to get out of your comfort zone and build something for yourself outside of your home even if it’s on the other side of the world. So, that was a really helpful factor, having that support group of like-minded people who were experiencing the same stuff.
Debbie:
How did you find that community that you really needed in Spain?
Ayn:
It was all Facebook and social media. I think, you know Cassandra, that’s how I got into the Branding Quickies book because of her and she was one of the more active ones on Facebook. She had a blogger community and then she had another group, I forgot what it was, but basically I was just desperate to find people who were like me, entrepreneurial people who wanted to discuss the same stuff and get together. So I joined those groups and I would go to events, just free events, meetups. She had this dinner series and Madrid so it was nice that I got to meet those people. And the ex-pat community was very small so, whenever I would go to these events, it would always be the same people. So, it was really nice.
Debbie:
That’s usually the lifesaver of everything especially when you’re on your own and it gets really lonely and you definitely hit right on the spot with that one because it does take a lot of toll on our mental health as well. When we do this, we kind of always just see the positive of it, people move abroad, it’s really great. You’re in a new country and then after a few weeks or even after a few days you realize, “Oh my gosh, I just uprooted everything. I don’t know anyone. This is getting really depressing.” And you don’t know what to do so having that community can be such a huge lifesaver for sure.
Ayn:
Yes. And I think during that time when I was so far away and detach from my home, I was able to use that time to focus on my goals and I became very goal-oriented, I think, more than usual when I was there ’cause I feel like, “I’m going through all of this, this better be worth something. I need to make something out of myself while I’m here.” So that’s why I created so many videos about Spain and I documented it, I think, pretty well compared to my other travels. So that was awesome because I was able to maximize the nine months that I spent there.
Debbie:
What do you think has been the best lesson that you’ve learned while you were abroad, Ayn?
Ayn:
I guess just realizing how strong and independent I could be, just being able to push my limits ’cause I’ve been a pretty sheltered child and I always thought that I would stay in the circle, stay within my comfort zone. I never really knew what I was capable of until I was across the world and so far away and I had to do all of that by myself. So, now that I know that I could do it, I feel so empowered to keep doing it. The plan is hopefully I can, hopefully, I can keep travel blogging ’cause I really want to see more and do more. And now that I’ve already done nine months in Spain, I feel like the other stuff won’t be as hard. It would be a challenge, but it won’t be as shocking as the first time.
Debbie:
Now you’re so much more prepared for it than most people are.
Ayn:
Yeah.
Debbie:
You can do anything now.
Ayn:
I know. Until you land and then it happens all over again.
Debbie:
So, you talked about getting sick while you were away. What type of insurance were you using when you were living abroad?
Ayn:
Yes, they had it. It was part of our contract so, we have medical insurance, I think it was taken care of by the government. It was pretty cool ’cause I don’t even have insurance back in the Philippines. Every time I need to go to the doctor, I need shell up money and I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to be but I just got back and I’m winging it.
But when I was in Spain, I had that and I was very lucky because we have a Facebook group for auxiliaries. That was what we were called language assistance. The auxiliaries group was a great resource for stuff like that. And through that group, I found an English speaking doctor who we could really communicate with. So all of the language assistants went to him and it was awesome.
Also, medicine is pretty cheap in Spain. So that was good. I just caught the flu, but it was winter, so it was awful. I really just wanted my mom to cook me Lugaw or hot soup but it just wasn’t happening. I had to do it myself.
Debbie:
So different when you’re at home and you will have your mom with you, right? It really sucks getting sick on the road. But you know what’s worse than that though, it’s dealing with insurance claims when you’re on the road, when you’re always on the go, you’re in a different country and it’s not like Spain where they don’t give you insurance. And most of the time it really sucks when you’re dealing with unreliable customer service reps who can never give you the right info that you need. And it’s given me so much stress to do that.
Debbie:
And that’s why I’m really excited to share that I am partnering with Integra global and they have amazing in house experts and their partnerships with some of the world’s leading companies who offer ex-pat assistant programs, security, and natural disaster protection and so much more things that we didn’t even know that we needed. But then it just happens.
So if you want to speak to helpful experts who can make your life easier when you’re on the road, like I know we do most of the time it just happens for no reason, right? So, guys check out IntegraGlobal.com and speak to one of their awesome reps, so you can definitely check that out, Ayn, if you go to another place because places like the Philippines don’t have that.
Even in the United States, we don’t have that here. There’s no free healthcare here we have to pay for it and it’s so expensive and I don’t want to have to deal with that because you don’t know. Every country is so different and I, that’s why I really love Integra Global for that.
Ayn:
Oh my gosh, that’s something that I need to learn. I mean, I’m half adulting, but at the same time there are things that I haven’t even Googled about, so this is one of them. I need to go do that.
Debbie:
I really had to learn the hard way to do that. Otherwise, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I don’t know what to do now.” Now, let’s fast forward to 50 years from now and you’re looking back at your life, what legacy would you like to leave and what do you want to be remembered for?
Ayn:
Wow. 50 years from now, I’d be 75. Oh my gosh, a grandmother. Well, I always say that when I’m a grandmother and I’m surrounded by my grandchildren or whatever, I mean, if we could get to that point with climate change and everything, my ambitions are pretty simple – I just want to be happy. And when I talk to my family and my kids and my grandkids in the future, I want them to see my videos and photos and know that I lived a full life while I was doing all of this.
I want to be a living example of how it is to live a happy life while at the same time being able to provide for yourself and have a secure future because it is possible and I want to be able to actually make that happen for myself.
Also, I care a lot about my advocacy, which is skin color positivity, especially here in the Philippines. I want them to see my work and I want to be able to be part of that movement that allows future generations of brown-skinned girls in the Philippines to be confident than themselves.
My name doesn’t have to be there, but if I’m old and I see all the little brown grandchildren that I have and they’re just naturally confident the same way they’re lighter skin counterparts are, then I feel like I would have lived a good life.
Debbie:
That’s such a good thing to be an advocate of because a lot of people don’t know this, but I mean it definitely happens in a lot of different countries, in the United States and all over the world. And especially with the Filipinos, we can be really hard on each other, not even other people from other countries – we’re hard on each other.
Ayn:
We’re pretty friendly with others, actually.
Debbie:
It’s really interesting because a lot of people go to the Philippines and they’re like, “Oh my gosh, you’re so friendly.” But I’ve had moments there where I was treated differently when I first just land and my skin was light to when I’m in the middle of my trip and I get really, really dark and I get treated like shit literally.
Ayn:
Really?
Debbie:
Yeah. And it’s pretty interesting and I tell people this all the time and they’re so horrible with their own kind that it was really surprising to me. I knew it was a long time since I’ve gone back to the Philippines and I didn’t realize how bad it was until I actually experienced it myself and I was like, “Wow, this is so interesting.” But with other foreigners or dark skin, they were so nice to them but to their own kind they are really horrible and they mistreat you, it was very interesting. There is a different world to the Philippines, we are an amazing country don’t get me wrong but we can be a little kinder to each other, I think.
Ayn:
What about when people hear your accent – when they realize you’re not a local Filipino?
Debbie:
The thing that I actually do is I don’t speak English when I’m there.
Ayn:
Really!?
Debbie:
Yeah. I’m completely fluent in Ilonggo and Tagalog, so they don’t know.
Ayn:
Oh, I see. ‘Cause the thing is I’ve had Filipino-American friends who told me that they do experience that but as soon as Filipinos realize that they’re Filipino-American, then the treatment changes completely. And people are friendlier, they’re more impressed or I don’t know, something like that. So it’s just, it’s really weird.
Debbie:
It’s very strange. And it’s also different the way they treat you when you’re with a foreigner and it becomes completely different. Yeah, it’s so interesting.
Ayn:
Oh my gosh.
Debbie:
I’m just really interested in it. I mean there are so many things wrong with it but also like psychologically and in the psychology type of way, I’m like, “Wow, the behavior is very, very interesting.” So that’s why a lot of the times when I go back to the Philippines, unless I am with a foreigner and I have to speak English to them, I never speak English because I want to know the reality, how they’re going to really treat you. That’s how you know the true people who are really nice to you and who aren’t.
Ayn:
That’s true. That’s a really good way to filter out people.
Debbie:
And then there were times where when I first would land and I would be with my fiance, he’s white, so I would be speaking to him in English and they don’t know that I actually am fluid in Tagalog and Ilonggo and they would say things.
Ayn:
Oh no, what would they say?
Debbie:
It’s just like things, it’s just horrible. And sometimes I would just be laughing, most of the time it’s not bad, Filipinos are not the worst. I’m making this seem like everyone’s horrible, but no, Filipinos are really good. There’s only probably like 5 or 10% of them that are really like this but it’s just good. See, that’s why it’s so important to know a different language.
Ayn:
Yeah. Oh my gosh. The power that you hold. That’s so funny ’cause I also had the same experience but that was two years ago when I was with my ex, he was also white. And every time we would be seen together, especially in places like Makati, I would have to dress up really nicely so people wouldn’t assume the worst about me. It’s just awful.
There was one time we checked into an Airbnb, which I paid for by the way. I paid for that thing but they made me surrender my ID or something. And I didn’t even realize that he was being treated differently because he was just let in like, “Sir, welcome to your room, blah blah blah.” But they asked for my ID, blah, blah, blah.
And when I realized it, I asked him and I asked the owner of the Airbnb why the building guards asked me for identification. And he was so apologetic because he realized what was going on and what was the assumption about me and it was just awful. But I’ve got to try not to take it personally.
Debbie:
It’s true. Okay, there is some truth to it if we have to admit because I have been to Manila where we were in like hotels and you do see, you know what I mean? So there is some sort of truth to it but it shouldn’t be the standard or the norm, right?
Ayn:
Yes.
Debbie:
It’s also interesting when we go, ’cause my family’s from a really, really small town in the Philippines and whenever I would take like my cousins out to those places and I would bring my fiance with me, they would say like, “Oh my God, she’s so lucky to have married a white person because they pay for everything.” And I was like, “Wow.” And my cousin actually spoke out. She was like, “No, he’s lucky to be marrying her because she’s the one that has the money.”
Ayn:
That’s so true. Why do people assume that it’s not possible when it actually is – it could happen.
Debbie:
Don’t you think that’s really sad?
Ayn:
That’s really sad.
Debbie:
We should think more of ourselves as Filipinos. We need to be higher than that, we’re not just some mail order bride or like as bad as it is; hookers on the street just getting some foreigners. So, yeah, but there is people that are like that in Manila, I have to say. So it’s not 100% untrue.
Ayn:
I don’t know what we need to do, honestly. I don’t think we need to do anything.
Debbie:
There are so many stereotypes that go along with that. So, which is pretty interesting, I mean, I laugh about it now because I think I don’t really take things too seriously – because whatever. But it is, I think, in a lot of ways it does such a huge disservice to us as Filipinos to only think that we’re just good enough to be like that, to be like a hooker or a mail order bride for our females, and not something way better than that. So Filipinos, if you’re listening to this, change our minds.
Ayn:
Yeah. I think it’s getting better though with YouTube and social media because now people can see other stories beyond the shallow assumption that we’re all just looking for money or visa.
Debbie:
I don’t like to let it really get to me when that happens when it personally happens to you, you definitely take offense to it at that moment. And then, you just take things into perspective. It’s like we still have a lot of ways to go and definitely grow in those terms. So it’s getting there.
Ayn:
It’s getting there for sure.
Debbie:
So, someone like you, Ayn, is definitely putting it out there that we’re way beyond more than just those.
Ayn:
Oh my gosh. Tell me about it. There was one time I saw a video by a white guy and the video title was “Why Dating in the Philippines is Hard for White Men” and I was like, “What is this guy talking about?” And he had like 200,000 views, he had 200,000 subscribers. I couldn’t believe that that was the Filipina content that was going around the world.
And so I made a response video about it like I basically clapped back as a Filipina and this dude was just not having it. He found my personal Facebook argued with my friends – it was so funny. And I think a year later he made a new video entitled “Why Dating in the Philippines is Becoming Easier for White Guys” and at that point, I was just like, “Oh my God, he does not get it. Okay, bye.” It was hilarious.
Debbie:
In a lot of ways, it’s super offensive but in a lot of ways, it’s freaking hilarious because I just laugh at people like that, honestly. I really can’t take that seriously.
Ayn:
Yeah, the ignorance. Oh my gosh. Like, “How is this real?” But it is.
Debbie:
Yeah. Honestly, if we take it seriously – forget it! We’re just going to be fighting with so many defensive people. We do our own thing, we put the content that we want to put on there and hopefully we educate people more and more about it
Ayn:
Yes, for sure.
Debbie:
So now, Ayn, what are you currently working on today that is really exciting for you?
Ayn:
So, basically, my day involves a lot of YouTube stuff, I’m still vlogging. I’m currently doing vlog myths, so there’s that. But also I have my podcast called Camp Confidence but I recently took a break as I was figuring out some technical issues. It’s a big adjustment from doing video. And I also have Morena the Label, which takes up a lot of my time because when I moved back to Manila, I started doing the printing myself.
So, I got the equipment and yeah, I’ve been doing pretty much everything from production to packaging to shipping to marketing. So that takes a lot of my time. But it’s actually really fulfilling knowing or getting to know all the different parts of the business process. So yeah, that’s what I’ve been doing recently.
Debbie:
Well, that’s really exciting. And you have so many different amazing projects that you’re doing and you’re doing them so well, so I’m so proud of you.
Ayn:
Thank you.
Debbie:
If our listeners want to know more about you, where can they find you?
Ayn:
They can find me on YouTube, that’s “AYN BERNOS” – my very complicated name. And then you can also find me on Instagram. I recently deleted Twitter, I’m not coming back, so I’m not there. And Camp Confidence on Spotify and Morena the Label on Instagram too. There, I hope to see you guys.
Debbie:
Yeah. Thank you so much, Ayn, for being here today. I really appreciate your incredible story and journey.
Ayn:
Thank you for having me. I’m so glad.
Listen to Ayn’s extended interview where she shares how to find your unique niche on YouTube.
What you’ll find:
In this episode, Ayn shares insights on how you can monetize your YouTube channel just by finding your unique niche.
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