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In this episode, I talk about the negatives of living a freedom lifestyle.

From the crazy reaction from friends, family, and strangers to the guilt you may feel for creating an income doing what you love.

I share all the downs so you can prepare for this unconventional lifestyle.

Listen below:

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Transcription:

Hey everyone and welcome to another episode of The Offbeat Life!

You will probably be seeing more of me doing these individual episodes as the time goes on because there have been a lot of things happening in the background and I don’t have as much time to schedule interviews with other nomads as I have had before. But I always have the time to speak with you and to give you some tips on how to make this freedom lifestyle and remote-work living more sustainable for yourself as well.

So for this episode, I wanted to share what else has been going on since my last solo episode and I was joined by my husband, Aaron. And if you haven’t heard that episode, make sure to go back and listen to it because I explain how my hubby and I were able to finally replace his income and we now both work remotely and I also give you a lot of insight and tips. So, go ahead and check it out, you can go to theoffbeatlife.com and go to the podcast section and you should be able to find that episode there.

But for this episode, I wanted to share with you how it’s been going and to really give you the negatives of living a freedom lifestyle. I know we always talk about how great it is, how wonderful it is. But realistically there’s also certain things that are not so peachy keen about having a freedom lifestyle. And obviously you probably know all the good ones because you most likely have seen it on social media, I’ve definitely discussed it here. And I tried to be really transparent with you especially when I do my solo episodes and also even with the interviews that I’ve done. So, I just wanted to give you my personal top three negatives, and honestly I think these are the only negatives. I mean I could probably think of more things, but they really don’t stick out in my mind. So it’s not as bad, I guess. 

So, I wanted to talk to you about the three things that may happen to you once you get into this lifestyle or maybe you already are in this lifestyle and you can relate to it. And maybe you’re experiencing it too, so you know you’re not alone. And if you’re not into this lifestyle yet, maybe it’s something to look out for. But, definitely it’s not something that’s going to deter you from going into a freedom lifestyle and start to work remotely.

Well for starters, the first thing that is an absolute negative for me. Was when I told people about the both of us, meaning me and my husband, being remote and how we were able to retire him from his full time, regular 9-5. He didn’t have an office, he was a therapist so he would go into homes and schools and there was really just a lot of back and forth and traveling everyday. So he had to go through, not just traveling one time to go to work, but most of the time he would be going back and forth and it was just a headache. So, when we told people that we were both remote, we both have this flexible schedule and have a freedom lifestyle and we were able to retire him from his job.

There were some pretty interesting reactions that we got and some of them saying, “Hey, so now are you a sugar momma to your husband? Because you retired him from his 9-5. Are you okay with that?” Or somebody asking “Hey, is this gonna be sustainable and is it enough for the both of you?” And now, the first question I definitely didn’t like. The second question is definitely understandable because, especially if it’s people who love you and know you, they’re going to be concerned. Especially if it’s not a lifestyle that they’re used to. I mean if it was me and if it was something our friend or family member was doing, I would give them some questions, realistically.

“Hey can you do this, are you able to support yourself?” So that’s definitely understandable. So, that would be my take on that. I think that’s a completely relatable question. I don’t take offense in that and I will usually explain to people, “Hey this is how we’re doing this sustainably. Even though we don’t work as much as we did, we actually make more. Then we did, so it definitely works for us.”

So it was really interesting, the first question, when somebody said, “are you going to be a sugar momma now?” Because it was never an issue when my husband was the one supporting me, and he paid for most of the things. And he helped to support me when I was building my business for so many years, and I was struggling for so long and he was there to support me.

Not only financially but also emotionally, and many of you probably understand and probably know that being an entrepreneur is really hard. It doesn’t come overnight, it takes a very long time to get to the point where you can make money that you’re able to support yourself. And in fact, to be honest with you, until this year my income with the business was very unstable and even though there was income coming in every month, it wasn’t enough to replace my husband’s income.

But now, we have been able to replace, not just my old 9-5 but also my husband’s income. And we’re en route to doubling that. And it’s just interesting that there’s just negativity to that. I don’t know where that comes from. So when I heard somebody say that to me, it really, kind of pissed me off. Because from the way I see it, there is a double standard. 

Like, it’s okay for him to have done that, but when it’s my turn to do the same, to retire him from a job that we really wanted him to get off because we both wanted to have a freedom lifestyle and flexibility. 

I also want him to pursue his own passions after I finally created income, a sustainable income, a really good income for the both of us for this business. And when we finally did that, it was just like a slap in the face to somebody saying, “Hey, that’s not good enough.” And you know, he helped a lot. He definitely helped me through a lot of things when there were so many ups and downs, and not to say that right now there’s not a lot of ups and downs but especially when you’re just starting out the business. You just don’t know what’s going on.

So without him, I don’t know if I could have lasted all these years. And also right now, Aaron is working with me full-time, he’s my partner in my business and he’s also very good with the back-end of the business. I’m more creative and I like to do creative things but he knows what to do in terms of the back-end. And if you didn’t listen to the last solo episode I had with Aaron, I talked about how we actually doubled, more than doubled our income because he was able to see things that I didn’t see with my business.

Without him, it would be a lot harder for me because I am not good with certain things and he is. And that certainly helps in our business. So, that kinda bothered me a little bit. It just feels like when you’re struggling, there’s always negativity. Maybe people question why you’re doing certain things, and then when you finally do it, it also seems like they question if you can keep up. If you can keep doing this or “are you going to be this and that?” And I think a lot of that too, is projection. 

And so if you are experiencing that right now, whether you are just starting out and people are questioning your motives, what you’re doing, your actions or if you are seeing success in your business and people are still questioning you, you’re not alone. Damn if you do, damn if you don’t. So at the end of the day, it’s their problem, not yours. So I just kinda brush that off and keep doing what I need to do. That is the first negative.

The second negative is feeling guilt. I feel really guilty sometimes when I’m with my friends and family, and I hear a lot of them complain about their job and their work-life balance. And I just feel really weird sometimes. Not listening to it, but also sharing how things are going with me because sometimes you’ll find that people who are not in the industry or if they’re not entrepreneurs, they don’t really understand what it is that you’re going through.

Whether it’s the bad stuff or the good stuff. And I think especially the good stuff. I feel kinda weird sharing things, because if it’s negative people can relate to it, because we can all relate to negative things happening. And obviously, we can relate to positive things happening too, but if you’re wanting to share something positive while everyone else around you has drama or just hate what they’re doing, it feels really weird for me to be like, “Well, in my position I really love what I’m doing. I love the freedom that I created” or whatever it is. It just makes me feel very guilty.

And obviously that’s also my issue, because when you have really good friends, when you have a really good family, if they’re there for you they’re not going to make you feel like that. They’re going to celebrate your wins and obviously be there for you for your losses but I have. Now the reason why I feel like this, and I do have to explain, is because I have tried sharing what’s happened to me before and somebody literally telling me to be quiet and to shut up because they don’t want to hear it. So that kinda left a bad taste in my mouth, and usually unless you’re in the same industry as me and we’re both sharing trade secrets or we just know what’s going on and you’re an entrepreneur, I will definitely tell you all of these things. But if you’re in my circle and you are not interested in it or you just don’t care, in that sense I usually don’t disclose a lot of things and I just like to keep my mouth shut.

That’s what I learned at least. But, like I mentioned, it shouldn’t be like that if you do have people. And I do have people, that’s why as I get older my circle becomes smaller and smaller, because I do really respect my time and who I choose to spend that with. And if you’re the type of person who cannot be there for my losses as well as my wins, and you can’t celebrate that, then I think that is not a good indication of our relationship as friends. And also if that’s family.

And now, the third negativity in the freedom lifestyle is to feel lonely and have loneliness when you are in this type of space. Because although I’m really lucky to have my husband, to finally share this freedom with me. There are not many people aside from him who I can experience it with and most of my friends who are living a freedom lifestyle, they’re in another state, they’re in another country, they’re constantly traveling.

Obviously I can go there and meet them but wherever I am, it’s a lot harder if I want to hang out with friends who I grew up with because they are all working a regular 9-5. And I say this, there’s nothing wrong with a 9-5 if you like what you’re doing, if you feel that’s what you need to do, that’s what you need to do. But I do want to just share for me at least, and obviously all of these negatives are my experience. If you don’t feel like this and you’re living this lifestyle I’m sure you have other experiences as well. So, this is just my take on it. But from the way I have experienced it, a lot of my friends are living this lifestyle. Obviously there’s a few of them, they don’t live near me, they’re in a different state, they’re in a different country and we do see each other but it’s probably once or twice a year.

And then the few people that I’m friends with, and grew up with, I do see them here and there but it’s not all the time. Because they obviously have their own lives, they work their 9-5’s and it’s not just like me being, “Hey, want to go out to get ice cream or to go hiking,” and it’s on a Tuesday afternoon. Now, I can do that. My husband and I can go and we can do that, and in fact, we do that all the time. But if you don’t have a partner that can do this with you and if the friends that you have have a 9-5, and they have to be in the office or wherever they work at a certain time it’s a lot harder.

So just a head’s up, that you have to be really comfortable and at least get used to doing things solo as well because it’s also not good to wait around for other people to start living your life, to start experiencing things. Because you worked so hard to get to where you are, to have this freedom lifestyle. That letting yourself not do anything because other people can’t do it with you would be a crime. So just be open to doing things solo. It’s okay to do that. I’ve done that as well, when my husband didn’t leave his job yet. I would travel on my own, he could only take maybe a week or two from his job and then after that I would travel solo for a month and then go off on my own. So, just a heads up that that could happen as well.

So these, for me personally, are the three negatives of having a freedom lifestyle. I know we talk about how amazing it is, and it absolutely is amazing. I would not trade what I am doing now for anything because I absolutely love it and there were definitely a lot of twists and turns to get to this point. But I feel like it led me to exactly where I needed to be. And without me failing, experimenting with a lot of different things, it wouldn’t have brought me to this point where I just really love what I do and I wake up every morning knowing that I’m doing something that I enjoy. I don’t hate Mondays. And yeah, I just love it. 

So hopefully, this gives you a little glimpse of what it’s like to have a freedom lifestyle. If you are living it already and have your own feedback and have things that I didn’t mention, feel free to send me an email at hello@theoffbeatlife.com and share it with me and your experiences as well. And that’s about it. And maybe next time, we’ll talk about the positives of living a freedom lifestyle.